


putting the dog to sleep

by fortyfiveangrycats



Series: no solution [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 'pretending to have sex', Fluff, Gross, M/M, also the title is as literal as it gets and youll see why, also.... what the fuck is it even called, horrible party games at seijou sleepovers courtesy of tooru, it starts out strange and gets progressively sappier, its very odd and not at all like my usual kind of writing, please tell me if this isnt teen, there's a lot that i want to put in the tags but i dont really want to spoil it???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 17:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6123838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortyfiveangrycats/pseuds/fortyfiveangrycats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s a little click coming from the doorknob, and suddenly Kyoutani can’t see a thing. It’s pitch black, it’s cramped, and it’s as hot as hell, and Kyoutani hates every second of it. He’s probably got a foot of space to move around in, and when he tries, he realizes that there’s definitely something else in the closet with him.<br/>Oh, right. He’s locked in a closet.<br/>Kyoutani makes a mental note that he should stop coming to team sleepovers, and the sound of Oikawa cackling further confirms his thought process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	putting the dog to sleep

**Author's Note:**

> this is RIDICULOUS and i cant tell if its good or bad  
> its 4am  
> im sorry
> 
> the title is actually a song by The Antlers u should check it out :^)  
> also the tags basically sum this piece of shit up????? lol

There’s a little click coming from the doorknob, and suddenly Kyoutani can’t see a thing. It’s pitch black, it’s cramped, and it’s as hot as hell, and Kyoutani hates every second of it. He’s probably got a foot of space to move around in, and when he tries, he realizes that there’s definitely something else in the closet with him.

Oh, right. He’s locked in a closet.

Kyoutani makes a mental note that he should stop coming to team sleepovers, and the sound of Oikawa cackling further confirms his thought process.

He swears a few times under his breath, and the figure next to him stirs, and he wonders why they haven’t said anything. He doesn’t actually know who it is, but he’s worried for both himself and whoever else is crammed in Oikawa’s spare bedroom closet with him for another seven minutes. This was a very bad idea.

“Kyoutani, is that you?” The voice asks, and it’s shy and quiet at first. “Never mind, I know it’s you.”

Kyoutani waves his arms out— not relatively far before he hits something— and upon finding Yahaba blindly, he pats his shoulder.

There’s a little bit of a jingling sound, and Yahaba pulls on the chain light switch, and Kyoutani’s vision returns to him. He sighs, but not before he notices how incredibly close together he and Yahaba actually are, and both of them are a bit pink in the cheeks. Oikawa and the rest of the team groan in the background, and Oikawa exclaims something like “It’s not as fun when they can see eachother!”

“Um, hello,” Kyoutani musters out, and Yahaba snorts in amusement.

“Hey,” he responds, and something catches on Kyoutani’s shoelace, and the next thing he knows, he’s throwing his hands out in front of him to balance himself, landing square on Yahaba’s chest, and both of them are bright red. Yahaba actually shrieks, and there are some suspicious noises that come from the rest of the team, waiting anxiously outside of the closet for them to return. 

“Five minutes to go,” Oikawa chimes, and Kyoutani groans in response. 

Kyoutani gets extra wary when Yahaba’s face falls into a sinister smirk, and his awkward smile turns into a devious grin that could match Oikawa’s own.

“What’s that face for?” Kyoutani hisses, and Yahaba shakes his head.

“I’ve got a really good idea,” he begins in a whisper, barely audible, “but you’ve... you’ve got to go along with it, okay? We’ve got to make the rest of the team either satisfied or super uncomfortable, and there’s only a few ways to make that happen.”

Kyoutani shakes his head. “You don’t mean, you want me to help you convince the team that we’re making out or something, do you?”

Yahaba’s lack of words to respond makes Kyoutani’s head tilt back in exasperation at how ridiculous his future captain could be, but he doesn’t necessarily concur with the idea. In fact, he thinks it’s quite devious. Which is, after all, something he’s very good at being.

Yahaba pushes Kyoutani up against the wall hard enough that it makes a noise, and he gestures with his hand for Kyoutani to do something in response. He makes a little “mmph!” sound and Yahaba nods excitedly, like he was trying to say “Yes, that’s exactly what I was hoping for.”

There’s some whispering outside the closet, so Kyoutani grabs Yahaba’s waist, hoping for a reaction, which he receives in the form of “A-Ah, Kyoutani-kun!” and dramatic posing despite knowing that the team couldn’t actually see the two of them. Which is good, Kyoutani thinks, because then they would know that there was nothing actually going on in the closet besides a whole bunch of fooling around and making quite sexual sound effects.

Yahaba gasps, looking over-exaggeratedly shocked and saying, “Kyoutani-kun, I didn’t know you were so _good_ at this!” 

Kyoutani chuckles at this, and he meets Yahaba’s gaze again, which is now actually surprised, and... Is that a blush? He dismisses the thought as they continue their closet-bantering, earning cheers from the team.

Kyoutani’s breath hitches when Yahaba moans loudly, even fluttering his eyelashes in the process, and Kyoutani nearly punches him for being so disgustingly embarrassing. Yahaba just giggles and gives him that glare again, and Kyoutani knows that he has to respond, so he leans in close to Yahaba, having to look up to make eye contact with him, and their brown eyes meet in a determined gaze. 

“Mm, yes,” Kyoutani groans, a sinister grin creeping its way back onto Yahaba’s face, and they fell into a rhythm of loud moaning, and blushes found their way back onto both of their faces, tinting their cheeks pink, dusting across their noses.

Yahaba kicks the wall, making it seem like they were a little bit more active than they actually were, and Kyoutani has to suppress a laugh. The whole scenario is ridiculous in of itself, but with the added touches from Yahaba, it just got so much stranger. 

Kyoutani finds himself tugging slightly into Yahaba’s hair, and Yahaba hisses at him, but pinches him to make Kyoutani make a louder, more realistic sounding noise. 

“Shit, what about kissing?” Yahaba asks, in a bit of a panic, and Kyoutani shakes his head in confusion. “You know, like... the sound of kissing? How the hell do we do that?” 

Kyoutani just smacks his lips together, as if he were dehydrated, and Yahaba legitimately laughs at this, then covers his mouth to refrain from doing anything else. 

“O-One minute,” Oikawa’s voice calls out shakily, and Kyoutani can tell that their idea is working. The team has fallen into a complete silence.

“A-Ah! K-Kentarou!” 

Kyoutani can’t ignore the shiver that goes down his spine, and Yahaba notices it too, and they both make the most obnoxious noises that they can before Oikawa unlocks the closet and they step out, both grinning with victory. 

The team looks absolutely stunned. The first years are completely pale, Watari looks like he’s about to laugh his head off, and the _third years_ , the third years are so shocked that Iwaizumi and Matsukawa have their ears plugged, Oikawa and Hanamaki with their hands over their eyes. 

“Nicely done,” Yahaba whispers, and they separate from eachother once more to return to the circle of teammates. 

“So...” Oikawa begins, turning to Yahaba, “how was it?”

Yahaba smiles sweetly and replies with, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Oikawa-san,” which shakes Kyoutani from head to toe. He’s truly a mystery.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa get tossed in together, and judging by seven whole minutes of dead silence, either nothing is happening, or _something_ is, and the remainder of the team doesn’t know what to hope for. 

But, they return to the group with very even expressions, and everyone is left wondering what actually happened in there. A few more groups get thrown in, and eventually it gets tiring and they shift the game to more groan-worthy party games, all chosen by Oikawa, Hanamaki seconding his vote.

 

Kyoutani sits through an entire game of truth or dare, answering only a few truths and leaving it at that, the worst being from Kunimi, “When’s the last time you kissed someone?” Which, of course, he had to lie and say that it was only about half an hour ago, and Yahaba chuckles somewhere else in the circle. The two of them don’t sit next to eachother for the game, which peaks the interest of a few of their teammates, but they continue on with truth or dare until Hanamaki is tired of taking his sweatpants off and running around the room and Kindaichi can’t stack any more than six plastic cups on his head. 

“Okay, last one,” Oikawa pants after having to do twenty pushups with Iwaizumi sitting on his back, “Yahaba-chan, truth or dare?”

Anyone could see the twisted expression of contemplation on Yahaba’s face, andwith a defeated sigh, he muttered “Fine, dare,” under his breath.

“Hmm,” Oikawa smirks, “How about... kiss Kyoutani-kun!”

Both of them sit straight up, and Kyoutani watches as Yahaba crawls through the center of the circle to meet him, his eyes wide and in just as much shock as Kyoutani himself.

“Sorry,” Yahaba whispers, leaning in closer.

“It’s fine, you idiot,” Kyoutani responds, closing his eyes, his hands burying themselves in Yahaba’s hair once more.

Their noses touch and Yahaba bites his lip, then proceeds to close the gap and touch Kyoutani’s lips to his own. Kyoutani was amazed by how much control he had, how gentle the kiss was, and he ignored the fact that his own pulse was skyrocketing, realizing truly what the depths of his feelings for Yahaba were. 

Cheers erupted through the group as Yahaba climbed further onto Kyoutani, sitting on his lap instead of Oikawa’s carpeted floor.

 

The group eventually moved from the spare bedroom to the kitchen, where everyone grabbed a few snacks and sat around to talk, leaving Kyoutani and Yahaba to talk about the events of the past few hours.

“Well, that was fun,” Yahaba says, shrugging his shoulders and taking a bite of some carrot slices. 

Kyoutani nodded in agreement. “Listen, Yahaba I think—”

“We should just forget that happened? Pretend we never went in that closet? That we never...” Yahaba’s voice trails off, and he stares momentarily at the floor before continuing, “That we never kissed?”

“Hell no,” Kyoutani counters, seeing just how disappointed Yahaba looked, “Why would I want to forget that? You’re... You’re a really good kisser.”

Yahaba raises an eyebrow at him. “Is that all?”

Kyoutani rolls his eyes. “I want to do it again.”

Yahaba’s eyes sparkle as he leans in for a second kiss of the night, lips sweet and longing for something more passionate, something more between the two of them, something more private. He gasps slightly as Yahaba tugs on his shirt, and the two of them share a smile when they break away from the kiss.

 

The group hurries back up to Oikawa’s guest room to get ready for bed and put on their pajamas, and Kyoutani settles down next to Yahaba, pushing his futon next to the yawning, drowsy boy. 

“Hey,” Kyoutani whispers, pressing his lips to Yahaba’s forehead.

“Hey,” Yahaba responds, running his hand down the side of Kyoutani’s face. 

Kyoutani rolls over to wrap his arms loosely around Yahaba’s waist as they fall asleep, and Yahaba whispers something to him before they finally drift off.

“Y’know, you’re not really much of a Mad Dog at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> please tell me if that was Not Rated Teen™
> 
> tumblr || hajibean


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